I want to be good. I want to be healthy. But I don’t know how. I don’t think I ever knew how. I tried to teach myself once, but that didn’t end so well. I have so many different versions of what healthy should be, but I am none of them. I can pretend I am and follow this rule and that. But in the end I am still not healthy. I can follow what the magazines say and it still won’t be enough. I can follow what the doctors say and that might even be worse. I can pick and choose what my own version of healthy is, but in the end it isn’t enough.
I don’t know what I’m doing, or how to do it. I just know I need to do something. And I need someone to help.